1. When someone asks you how you are or what you have been up to lately with any degree of sincerity, ask the same question back and at least feign interest in the answer.

2. If someone invites you to do something and you give a tentative answer, follow up when you’ve made a decision.

3. If you have been seeing someone for a reasonable amount of time in a reasonably meaningful capacity and you decide you don’t want to see them any longer, tell them that.

4. If you have been seeing someone for a reasonable amount of time in a reasonably meaningful capacity and you decide you’d like to continue to see them in an increasingly serious and involved way, agree to be in an exclusive, committed relationship.

5. When someone who you have continually hurt asks you, in one final bid for respect, not to talk to them ever again, don’t ever talk to them again.

6. When you have managed to move on, stop talking about it.

7. If you don’t want a relationship, don’t call, text, chat, hang out with, confide in, or be jealous of one single person who you know wants to date you, all day long all the time.

8. If your significant other is nice and respectful to you and you don’t have any issues other than the average issues that normal couples face, don’t project your insecurities on the other person and assume that things are somehow going wrong.

9. When someone you purport to care about cries or says they are depressed or anxious or even just seems unusually quiet, ask them if they are okay. If they don’t elaborate, be extra kind but don’t push it.

10. When someone you purport to care about cries or says they are depressed or anxious or even just seems unusually quiet and they tell you what’s wrong, pay attention. Follow up later.

11. If you are just being a little bitch and are being quiet or crabby because you are in a bad mood or are holding an irrational grudge or just aren’t feeling it, say so instead of saying, “I’m fine” and then continuing to pout.